I have been married for a little over two years to a wonderful amazing man, D. I think I am safe in saying that our marriage is strong, and getting stronger everyday. I have read lots of blogs posts and articles on how to keep your marriage strong, and after a while the advice is all very similar. Since a lot of the blogs I read are Christian ones, the number piece of advice they give is to keep Christ at the center of your marriage. But what if one of you is Christian and the other is not? No one seems to tell you what to do then.
You see, I am Christian and D is not.
So while I try and keep Christ first in my life, and let Him in as much as possible (I am not perfect at it), I know that it is not fair to except D to do the same. Do I wish that my husband believed as I do? Yes. Do I love him less because he doesn’t? No. Instead of holding Christ at the center of our marriage, we put our relationship at the center. Note that I said our relationship, not us.
We make it a point to make time for our relationship and to communicate. And then we communicate some more. And then we communicate some more… Can you tell that communication is important to us? Haha We included the promise to “communicate fearlessly” in our marriage vows because we felt it was very important to have very open communication. We talk daily when we are apart, and we make it a point to talk about anything that is bothering us before it becomes an issue. I still struggle with sharing my internal struggles and worries with D, but I am getting better with it. It is important that even though you are married you still recognize that you are two people, with different likes and dislikes and you do not need to be exactly the same. (Case in point, thankfully D will eat all the olives that find their way onto my plate when we go out to eat. Olives are gross.)
I also try and share my faith with D, so that he will understand where I am coming from when I am struggling with a Bible study or when we disagree on something because of something I believe. I will admit that sometimes it is difficult and I selfishly wish that D believed as I did. It is difficult to go to church events where the majority of women are married and whose husbands are very active in the church. And I know that once we start our family we will have to decide how we are going to raise our children regarding God, church and faith. I wish these things were easy. But I know that God brought D into my life, and placed him here to help me grow. I pray daily for my husband, and I love him very much.
And I think God is okay with that.
What are some things that you try to keep first in your marriage? If you’re not married, what is important to you in your friendships or other relationships?
I’m linking up with the Jack of All Trades linkup, please join in!